When I sit down to write a blog post I find myself wondering who you are. Who are you, you that is reading this? Are you someone who has stumbled across this website by accident? Did you punch a few words into a 'google' search and it suggested you take a look here? I don't know who you are but please let me introduce myself:
My name is Cathy. I'm a Registered Nurse and I work in a Pediatric Critical Care Unit in a hospital in Hamilton, Ontario. I'm 47 and I am the mother of 3 children. I've been married twice and I discovered that I was in an abusive relationship the morning of the day that I scooped up my kids and ran to a women's shelter. Seriously. I discovered that it was abuse the day I fled for safety.
I'm a nurse. I earn my living keeping children alive. I was a victim of Domestic Violence.
Back up even more.
My job was to transport critically ill children across Ontario by ambulance, helicopter and airplane. I supported families, worked in a high energy fast paced environment and went home to holes in the wall and floors, an empty bank account, tears and fear.
The final day actually began the night before..a big fight, he told me what a failure I was, how I had let him down as a wife..he yelled and I cried..again. I was still crying the next morning when he broke through the bathroom door and in a panic I called police - they gave me a pamphlet and in that pamphlet were some numbers and I called one.
It was like the light went on, like I suddenly had a framework for understanding what had been happening. It was like someone literally handing me a lifeline that came with a tag "let us help, you can't fix this, trust us it's time to leave, to stop trying so freaking hard to be a better person, make his life easier, be a better wife...trust us, this is not what you deserve"
It's been six years now and I'm well and truly on my feet. I still cry sometimes because hey, this is hard to do...single parenting, dealing with loss, financial struggles. PTSD..but at least I know where these tears are coming from, at least I understand that sometimes you just have to let it all out . The tears from that day were altogether different, they were all wrapped up in fear and pain and isolation.
I did not understand that Domestic Violence is not just about hitting. I was experiencing domestic violence in my marriage and didn't know it. Me, someone who I even thought had it all together.
Is that you too?
Let's talk. Let's support each other.
We're worth it 🙂