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• Inasmuch House 905-529-8600 • Fem-aide 1-877-336-2433
• Good Shepherd 905-523-6277
• SACHA 905-525-4162
• Native Women's Centre 1-888-308-6559
• COAST (mental health) 905-972-8338
• Hamilton Interval House 905-387-8881

Inaugural Blog

So here we are. The inaugural blog. Wow I am so proud of us! Not just those of us who are working on this site, but of everyone who has ever shared and cried and ranted and raved about how domestic violence has affected their lives.Inaugural Blog

Two years ago I didn't even realize I was a victim.  Two years ago I lived in Dundas in a nice little house, on a nice little quiet street. I worked full-time as a registered nurse and my husband was trying to get his construction business off the ground. Two years ago I had five children living at home - two step-children living at home and three of my own, well, actually my eldest child was off at a residential treatment center getting help.  Two years ago my youngest child was two, and my son (age 6) was struggling with anger and frequent melt-downs. Two years ago every penny of my pay cheque went to paying the mortgage and bills and never seemed to stretch far enough. 

I seemed to always have to ask my husband to help by giving me some money for food. Our house was under construction because we had decided to build an addition before our last child was born, but then work had to stop due to lack of money. Work on the house also stopped because my husband refused to work on it. So two years ago I lived with pink insulation for walls, plywood floors and hanging light bulbs; there were holes in the floor and exposed wire everywhere.

Two years ago I felt trapped. I was depressed and alone. I thought that if I could just try a little harder, be a little bit more patient, maybe lose some more weight.... maybe if I could just be more understanding and see that I was the one causing all the problems, if I could just keep the house cleaner, or cook better, or keep my car cleaner or whatever!

Well, it's two years later. I ended up fleeing to a women's shelter with my children and staying there until I could get housing. I have had to take an extended leave from my job, I lost my house and most of my belongings, but I have found friends who love me and supporters who cheer me on. I have met a lot of women and their children over the last two years.  By learning to trust each other and share our stories, really our lives, we have found strength and support together.

This is what this site is about -- connecting with one another. My story is by no means over. I got obnoxious texts and emails from him just this afternoon. My case is still before Family Court and I still have to deal with the Children's Aid Society.  Ahhhhhhhhhhgggh!

So please, feel like you are welcomed. We want you to know that you are more than just a statistic. You have your own story, maybe your own questions.  Check out the calendar and watch out for the forum.

We are all in this together.

"Healing can only happen through honesty, openness and a willingness to be vulnerable."

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About cjw

A mother of three and a survivor of domestic violence, I am passionate about helping women who feel isolated and alone, women who may have children that are profoundly impacted by the trauma of domestic violence and women who need to understand where they can go to get help for themselves and their families. I am a registered nurse who has worked for the last 16 years in a critical care area only to have to flee to a women's shelter and have my whole life changed. I know fear, I know pain and I now know food banks...I'm in good company.


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One Response to Inaugural Blog

  1. S.S. August 28, 2012 at 10:40 pm #

    This is a really great outlet to share and be/feel heard, and remain anonymous if that is our choice. It’s horrible that we have this in common, some of us, but it’s nice to know we aren’t alone and can help one another. This website is one in which I have often wished ‘they’ had before now and so I am grateful and excited that this now exists for people such as myself. 🙂 Thank You to the creators and those who help with it 😉

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