What is it like?
What is it like to look at the partner who you have committed to and know that they are going to hurt you? To know that they have been unfaithful to you? To know that you couldn’t bear it if anyone knew the pain and shame that you feel in this moment?
What is it like to know that the knowledge of these things would break your parents’ hearts and you can’t bear to share the half of it with them?
What is it like to live what you’re living..
The tears are kept back by sheer force of will; sometimes they are stronger and you cry in front of your children, then feel guilt...you have been working so hard to keep this from them, to shield them, to protect them. It’s hard work and you are so tired.
In your mind you know that others have experienced these same things but they seem a million miles away, they’re not here, sharing your hell.
You feel alone and afraid. You feel worn out and overwhelmed. Who is strong enough to carry this kind of burden?
Here’s the truth: You are amazing. You don’t feel it but you are. You just laughed out loud when you read this, how ludicrous, it’s the last thing that you feel.
You are also not alone. That is the absolute truth. Why do you think this website even exists? Because we are here with you. You are reading this because you are hurt and afraid and feeling worn out and frayed like old material, like one good tug and everything will disintegrate and that will be the end.
So let’s start patching you up because that is why we are here and it is why you will one day be strong enough to recognize someone else who is about to come undone and you will be able to do what we want to do for you: point you in the direction that will help.
Don’t be overwhelmed. Take that step; share what you are going through with someone who can perhaps give you some pointers. You don’t need to even tell them your name, nobody needs to know anything more than the fact that you need to talk to someone about what has been going on.
905 523-6277 Martha House
905 529 8600 Inasmuch House
1 888 308 6559 Native Women’s Centre
905 387 8881 Interval House
Despite what your partner says, you are not crazy but one person can only carry so much load before going under. Call and talk, and find support.